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Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
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8:50 am - Dedicated to Trent Reznor
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i have this weird sadness over me. i know i should be happy but i don't want him to fade out of existence and die and never know anymore.
in a weird way he inspires me to get out from the crowd and be someone
current mood:  crushed
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, August 24th, 2009
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12:08 pm - just for livejournal
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| Sunday, July 26th, 2009
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9:00 pm - Entrepreneurial marketing project to aid me in networking and finding a job
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www.individualstand.com
check it out!
current mood:  ecstatic
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 29th, 2009
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8:20 pm
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i am in love with b. i do not want to b with anyone else and i am not sure how i'd live without him
current mood:  blank
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 8th, 2009
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8:25 am - sunburned + tired+ concerts back to back + meeting Trent and chatting with him = PRICELESS!
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Met Robin Fink first for the meet and greet and signing.
(shakes hands and introduces himself)
Me: “what are you drinking”
Robin: “ginger beer”
Me: “have you ever had a dark & stormy”
Robin: “Maybe”
Me: “well their good and their made with black rum.”
Onto meeting Justin Mendalson-Johnson
(shakes hands and introduces himself)
Justin: “where do you want me to sign”
Me: “everywhere but the words & in silver”
Justin: “um okay what does it even say”
Me: “You do not know what song this is from? Read the words.”
Justin: (looks it over, I don’t know)
Me: “Epic Fail, it’s the great below”
(start this laughter and robin chimes in oh my god she said Epic Fail! Trent was smiling)
Onto meeting Trent
Shakes my hand. His hand was huge. I pretty much melted looking a bit when he looked into my eyes.
Me: “I am always last”
Trent : “what’s your last name?”
Me: “it begins with a Z, Zeleznik, last for everything.”
Trent: “oh, Zeleznik?”
Me: “it’s Hungarian.”
Trent: “ah”
(then he’s about to sign it in black.)
Me:, “ no in silver and not on the words.”
Trent: “ I am sorry. I’m sorry I almost ruined it. What’s with the monkeys?”
Me: “don’t ask. I asked what’s with a dog treats?
Trent: “alan rubin likes to eat them it as a gift from a fan”
Me: “um okay, thanks guys”
Absolutely priceless
current mood:  indescribable
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
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1:39 pm
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I hate myself for what I have become
I hate myself for not being what I want to be
I hate myseelf for not having the courage to believe that I could be
I hate myself for looking the way I do
I am 25 and who am I
You always wanted to be known
You always wanted to do something great
You are not as talented as other people think you are
You are meeting the voice and the lyrics that got you through your darkest of hells
You are just another figure in the crowd
You are nothing to him
Why can't you be the goddess that you so want to be
Why can't you just break out and be who you want to be
You fear conforming with society
You fear that you will not make a difference
You fear that you are not smart enough to succeed like the ones you love
I know where I want to be but how do I get there
I know I want you there
But I am so lost right now
current music: sorry by madonna
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 21st, 2009
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4:01 pm - epic FAIL
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Epic fail on granola bar making. I now have granola crunchy bites. Maybe i didn't use enough butter or press hard enough together. Unclear. They taste yummy but they are not in bar shape at all.
current mood:  hot
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, February 23rd, 2009
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8:08 am
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| Thursday, January 29th, 2009
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2:04 pm - science rap verse 1 song: my attempt on a rap song
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| Sunday, January 25th, 2009
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1:18 pm - dreams are weird
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demon giving me a cracked egg with cracked shell in pink color to me to hold.
current mood:  curious
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 14th, 2009
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4:24 pm
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fighting hard not to get depressed about the job thing and money situation.
trying to figure out to get my idea going.
trying not to get super angry and depressed over my pregnant friend. i love how she guilt trips me that i don't care about her life, but it pisses me off she waited to search for apts just a few months before she is due. why did you wait that long. Why is this such a melodramatic mess. Why can't you just be real. Why do you have to hurt everyone around you.
I told her how I felt once and I know I have ruined the friendship forever. I know I can never tell her how I really feel anymore cause I'll just scar the friendship more than it is.
I cry about our relationship a lot. I love her like a sister and I hate how she thinks I don't care. I hate it so much. I have thought about just walking away from it all and then I think about the child and not be for the child at all and that just kills me.
I've been shopping cause baby shopping besides friend shopping for apt stuff is probably my fav. shopping activity. even though I have only been apt. shoppping once. I'd hoped I get to do the best friend activities like shopping for apt stuff and wedding stuff, and baby stuff together and I realize in this lifetime I am never going to experience this with my best friend.. cries....
I have thought so many times about just walking away. I think she feels the child is just going to smooth over the negative feelings she has caused and ppl have felt for 5 months, but maybe I am that horrible best friend that just told the truth to her best friend to show her the different choices and now i am nothing in her life.
current mood: melancholy
current music: creep by radiohead
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, December 19th, 2008
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7:49 pm
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i now join the million other people in the world looking for a new job. even though it sucks: i am so much happier.
current mood:  relieved
current music: random jazz on a playlist
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
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2:09 pm - just a post from CNN- still amazing that ppl did survive
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(CNN) -- On November 18, 1978, more than 900 people died in a mass murder-suicide at Jonestown, a cult commune in Guyana.
Its leader, the Rev. Jim Jones, called himself God. He persuaded followers to kill their children first and then drink fruit punch laced with cyanide. Of the nearly 1,000 church members who were present before the pact, 33 survived.
Eleven people fled through the jungle:
Richard Clark, age 42
Julius Evans, 30
Sandra Evans, 30
Sonya Evans, 11
Sharla Evans, 7
Shirelle Evans, 5
Johnny Franklin, 33
Diane Louie, 26
Robert Paul, 33
Leslie Wilson, 21
Jakari Wilson, 3
Fourteen people lived through airport ambush:
Monica Bagby, 18
Jim Bogue, 36
Edith Bogue, 39
Teena Bogue, 22
Juanita Bogue, 21
Tommy Bogue, 17
Harold Cordell, 42
Vernon Gosney, 25
Chris O'Neal, 20
Edith Parks, 64
Gerald Parks, 45
Dale Parks, 27
Brenda Parks, 18
Tracy Parks, 12
Four people were sent away by Jones or his mistress:
Mike Carter, 20
Tim Carter, 30
Larry Layton, 32
Mike Prokes, 31
Four lived through the mass suicides:
Stanley Clayton, 25
Grover Davis, 79
Odell Rhodes, 36
Hyacinth Thrash, 76
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/11/12/jonestown.survivors/index.html
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, November 7th, 2008
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10:11 am
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I've been thinking about people lost along the way and friendships dissapearing into the dark.
Places I have been with friends and music and laughter shared. I wonder sometimes why they had to waine. Some were not all ended with anger some just changed paths and that path never crossed again. I think it's a bit sad for those people whom made times that were hard so much better.
This entry is dedicated to the one who opened my world to the music of Iron & Wine. I wonder where you are and that hopefully you are doing something so artistic and cool with your life.
current mood: curious
current music: Cinder and Smoke by Iron & Wine
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, October 13th, 2008
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8:09 pm
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I am leaving for CHINA on Wed, yes i said china :) wtf i'm going to china... it's blowing my mind :)
current mood:  crazy
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
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1:36 pm
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not feeling so hot. going to doctors tomorrow. i have very sharp pain just above my hip and been pretty nauscous.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 21st, 2008
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9:37 pm - csa program recipe update
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this week we were with a box full of all different types of squash. We made a soup tonight with yellow squash and a little improvising.
Summer Squash Soup with Basil Recipe Courtesy of Curtis Aikens
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/4 pounds zucchini, crookneck or pattypan squash, roughly chopped
1 large onion, chopped
6 cups Summer Vegetable Stock
1/2 cup julienned basil
1 1/2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 1/2 tablespoons flour
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Juice of 1 lemon
Sour cream or plain yogurt as an accompaniment
Heat the oil in a large saucepan or stockpot, add zucchini and onion. Saute for 5 minutes or until onions are translucent and zucchini is crisp tender. Then add stock, bring to a boil, reduce heat and partially cover and cook for 25 minutes. Add basil during the last 5 minutes of cooking. Mix the butter and flour together into a paste. Remove 1 cup of simmering stock and whisk in butter mixture until smooth. Add back into soup, stir until thickened. Remove soup from heat to a blender and puree until smooth. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Add lemon juice and serve with a dollop of sour cream or yogurt.
We Added potatoes (3) and didn't use cream or yogurt and used 4 yellow squash. YUM!!!!!!!
I recommend adding squeezing lemon, pepper and salt at the end in a bowl.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/curtis-aikens/summer-squash-soup-with-basil-recipe/index.html
current mood: ecstatic
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, August 25th, 2008
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8:58 pm
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i am taking a bold move and turning my stress and frustration into something good
current mood: chipper
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
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8:32 pm - I love Bob
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I love Bob's German Potato salad
it's an experience
that makes you feel good inside
I love Bob's German Potato Salad
2 pounds and all gone
I need more of this amazing food creation
I need Bob's German Potato Salad
btw Bob totally needs to get fridge magnets for his business or email alerts.
current mood:  full
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 14th, 2008
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9:34 am
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So i had a creepy dream last night. I was in a room with a row of white candles on each side. It was too dark to see around the candles. And when i walked down between them the candles blew out, if i walked backwards they did not re-light. I also never made it to the end of the candles, i woke up.
a part of me feels i have some omen on me. In no relation to the dream, in the past week I have experienced the death of 3 pigeons, one outside my house and two on the road, one got hit by a truck and the other committed suicide on my car. :(
I tried searching some meanings: here's a few. If anyone else has feed back, please comment:
To see a candle blow out in your dream, indicates that you are surrendering a significant aspect of yourself. You are letting go of something that used to be important to you.
What does a blown out candle mean in a dream? (facade.com)
The Diamond spread reveals the dynamic forces at work in a situation. It is the spread of choice for understanding a hidden conflict. Stone Runes are most commonly used for questions about the natural world and things beyond human control.
The bottom rune represents the foundation that forms the basis of the issue. Perth is the rune of chance and gambling. Throw the dice, read your fate. Gaming is a fine way to pass the night...as long as one is careful. Games of chance have outcomes that are hidden from us, and as such Perth represents secrets unknown. Perth symbolizes enjoyment and wild abandon, but be watchful, for Perth is also the rune of mystery and the outcomes unexpected. You cannot lose if you do not play, but neither can you win...
The left rune represents one of the forces acting on the issue at hand. Wunjo is the rune of joy. The reversal of this rune suggests that joy is withheld. Since joy is frequently communal, this rune often suggests loneliness. Alternatively, some have seen Wunjo as the rune of perfection and the rune of the gods. Therefore this rune reversed could signal a feeling of separation from one's deity, or as imperfection in an important work.
The right rune represents another of the forces acting on the issue at hand. Raido means to ride. In this rune, the image is not so much the riding of a horse as in riding in a cart or as cargo. As such Raido may suggest a journey, but is much more indicative of communication. Alternate interpretations based on the use of Raido as a cognate in other words give it the meaning of council, judgment, and moral correctness. Therefore, this rune is the rune of wise advice and good leadership.
For the White candle:
White
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. However, in Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.
The top rune represents the conclusion to which your strivings can carry you. Thurisaz represents a thorn, the most basic of barriers to our boon or our bane. In the case of hedges, thorns protect our encampments from that which skulks towards us from the outlands. In the case of rosebushes, thorns keep us from beauty. Though thorns are passive and have no thoughts, they puncture, tear, and may even be poisonous. Hence, this rune may also represent irrational violence and anger.
current mood: confused
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